May 14th 2008
I had gone to work, hoping to escape my home life. For the past something weeks I had been having the unfortunite luck of having to deal with my mother. My mother, beleives that all people, when born, are born with all knowledge. Except, she simply knows more. Yes it's a big exageration, but she acts like it anyways. When I spoke to her, about not knowing what to do, and finding out she already planned all my plans for me, without telling me, I had been a little upset. Lately though things had been quiet, but I went to work hoping to not have to deal with another problem like I've had of late.

I wish I called off that night. A simple 6 to 12 shift. Not my normal. I dealt with nerds, starting, but not finishing fights with stupid rednecks, rednecks telling me how to do my job, fellow nerds telling me how to do my job, and employees generally treating me as if I had no capability to handle my job... even though I AM the crew trainer...

Finally, defeated by my workplace, tired, and to sore from fighting on the 13th, I gave up, asked to go home, and they granted me that at least.

May 15th 2008
I finally got that letter from the insurance company. Two years ago when I was in that car wreck, and dealt with all of that. The company called me, told me they handled my bill, and would send me papers to fill out in order to get money from the days I missed work. Truth was, they sent the papers so they could get my bill to pay it. I was not interested in getting money for missing work. I enjoyed it infact. When I found out, earlier this month, that I couldn't get a loan because of my single bill that I hadn't paid in two years. I can say I was depressed. The Hosptial had not even tried to contact me in two years, in order to give me my bill. The Insurance Company, NEVER said they needed my permission to pay the bill. So I called them up and had things arranged.

The papers arrived, and after my first attempt to look them other, my mother took them from my hands and started to fill them out on her own. . . Like I had not idea what I was doing... At work, I was treated like I had no idea what I was doing, and the managers don't give a shit... At home, I was being treated like I can't do anything and shoulnd't be allowed to try...

This rolling in with other recent events, I feel utterly useless. I'm unable to do what is needed, I'm unable to get accomplished what I need to... I'm failing. No matter how hard I push I am failing. And anyone who is willing to help, are trying to make me do things that wont help, as I've either already tried, or they will simply 'not work' for reasons I do not wish to disclose...

I'm defeated...
I need a Co-Sighner, any local friends willing to help me?


Though in good news, once I get my 'card' I'll be sending Wen-M his money. And settling that debit at last. Boy... took a long while... I guess I'm just that incompatent.